World Records

This week has been warm. We all know that. The tarmac has begun to make the roads slippery and it would also seem some of the train tracks have melted. But the weather is not the only thing hot off the press. Oh no. This week I broke a world record.

Now when I began to devise a list of things to do at the start of this year, I put 'break a world record' down, not really thinking about the implications of completing such a task. As time went on, it became clear that it was in fact going to be very difficult to do something better than anyone has ever done on record. I had suggestions, yes. One of these, as I recall, was to wear a particularly comfortable Jedi costume for as long as possible. This was clearly as impractical as it was desirable.

Having turned my thoughts to what I'm good at, I struggled. The term 'jack of all trades but a master of none,' has applied to me in the past. But now I have finally found something that I can forge ahead with as a master above all others...

Ear wiggles.

Above you see my successful attempt to beat 86 ear wiggles in 30 seconds previously set by some bloke in India.My attempt clocked up 89 wiggles. I found several attempts of this record on youtube and they all seemed to lead to one website. Recordsetters. I am now at the top of this list. Here is the link ... http://rec.st/i07q1 ... and just for fun, below is a screenshot.

Unfortunately I have still got some work to do in convincing Guinness that this is a valid record category but I will not let them sleep until they accept. This cannot take anything away from my achievement. And in the mean time, on to my next escapade.

W

Last Month: knots and doppelgangers

So, we reach the beginning of the end. July will be my last month as a man of relative leisure. Things have gone fast, that's for sure but no time to dwell on that for now. I have still been tied up with lots of activities in the past week. I had a busy week at work and with that always comes the potential for tempers to fray - never fear, my colleagues up at Airedale Hospital were as pleasant and cheery as they always have been. That said, I do believe last week may have been the last time I ever work up there (unless events take strange turns in the future) - so I would like to take this opportunity to big it up. A lovely place to work, some tremendous people and some fond memories.

I have been experimenting with a few tasks this week. One of these has been knot tying. Great fun and very useful - if I were to find myself in certain survival situations that is. Youtube has been my ally here and it should be noted that listening to people describing knots on headphones can have a strange calming effect over you. Good to go to sleep to. Also good to send you to sleep is watching videos on ways to convert between different units of measurement such as fahrenheit to celsius. As you can imagine, this is for very different reasons. Nonetheless, I'm glad I roped myself into it as both efforts were useful and informative and have served to bolster my general knowledge of things.

In order to take advantage of the long working week, I took the opportunity to use this as my week without TV. As expected, it was well hard. But not as hard as I had expected. As long as there is something there in its place, it's easy to string along. Although I did find myself singing the Frasier theme tune pretty much all week - maybe some sort of weird withdrawal symptom - and the fact that I missed 5 episodes of Neighbours was also somewhat distressing.Knot to worry.

One last thing to add. If anyone thinks they see me in London (or indeed anywhere in the world) then do let me know. If it turns out that I am nowhere near you then it may turn out to be the mysterious doppelganger that has been lurking, mainly up until now, in the London area. I have had several reports of this strange - but probably incredibly dashing -  individual crossing paths with people I know that were convinced it was me and so if you see him, do knot let him go. Grab him, find out who he is and tell him to stop tormenting me.

Together we can solve the mystery.

So, as we come to the last month, I have decided that the weekly task has now served its purpose. I have several final bits and pieces that I want to complete before things end and these are listed at the end of this blog. They will be completed on an ad hoc basis from now on and so the next few blogs will be a surprise. In addition to these, I will be finishing off my novel and consolidating all that I have learn this year. So sit tight and observe. W

Complete my back flip training
Produce fire like Ray Mears
Buy and sell an antique for a profit
Attempt a world record
Learn how to moonwalk

Back Flips and More Holidays

So this is where I have been for the last week or so, making some efficient and luxurious progress on my novel. I'm aware that this will be distressing news for many of you seeing as most are in full time employment and have to go to work every day. Far from me trying to rub this in, I am merely reporting how much of an awesome time I've been having.

So as you may know, I didn't have a specific task this week but it has been jam-packed nonetheless, even with the holiday. It seems to me that everyone in the world seems to have been doing some sort of triathlon/ iron man/ tough mudder this weekend. I have been hard pressed to avoid seeing ridiculous times smothered all over the social network sights of this world. Thankfully, I didn't feel too bad about myself as I did the 10k run in London myself. Ok, it's no triathlon but still, at least I can look myself in the eye at night knowing I haven't totally slobbed out.

This brings me to my next piece. The backflip. I've been working hard and I can now bring you video evidence of my progress. I refuse to stop here, as it needs to be done on a hard surface before I can say I have done it completely but things are certainly going the right way. Behold...

So there we have it. For my task this week, I will be learning some basic knots and also learning how to convert units of measurement. This obviously sounds mind-numbingly boring but necessary in life.Don't worry, there'll be some other stuff more exciting I'm sure!

W

Bird calls and more holidays

First of all, the collective term for birdwatchers appears to be 'a convulsion' although that is the grand total of 5 minutes research and I will happily stand corrected if this turns out to be spurious. Although I really hope it's true.

I have been brushing up on my bird calls this week and I can now say I can confidently identify a good number of common garden birds. My particular strong point is the House Sparrow. This task has been strengthened as it has coincided with BBC One's Springwatch series, which is awesome.

I have also been busy this week working again and earning some money but I took a bit of time out to grab a BBQ with some mates from my former stomping ground.

I am now on holiday again in Menorca and living it up. It's an alright life.

So for the next week, I will be concentrating on my novel by the pool in the sun and I will not be completing any other tasks in the meantime. On my return I will be getting on with some Spanish tuition and back flip learning which is also in the offing and of course my next task which is yet to be decided.

I should mention next Sunday I am running the 10K in London for Macmillan Cancer and if anyone wants to donate some money, the link should be on my facebook page. So until next time...

Will

Wolf whistles and Fish

My task this week was two-fold. 1) Learn how to wolf whistle. I had it in the back of my head that this could potentially produce a slip up. Nothing of the sort! Check it out.

 

I am genuinely quite proud of that one. It's been a packed week which has seen me attending two gigs, taking part in some gardening, watching Expendables 2 (the bit with Chuck Norris is awesome) and having my first Spanish tuition lesson - which was muy bien.It also saw me ironing out the second fold of my task - 

2) cleaning and preparing a fish. The fish in question was a rainbow trout and I certainly took care of it as this will show...

 

So that was fairly harrowing at points but it wasn't done just for the halibut. I hake not being able to do things and bless my sole, I didn't want to be floundering around the next time a fish needs gutting. Actually it was quite interesting and a tremendous skill to have in the bag. 

So next time, I will have been brushing up on the phonetic alphabet and my main task will be to learn and be able to recognise some common bird calls. That way, if I ever find myself in the presence of a group of 'twitchers', and should I wish to impress them, I will be more than able. Come to think of it, I will also find out what the collective term is for a group of birdwatchers. 

I'll leave you with the dragon that appeared in my pint glass.

Wilderness and beyond

As a small select number may now know, I am back in the UK. But where did I leave you last time you might say? Well I believe it was in the vicinity of San Francisco, so I will continue my account from that point.

Having had a great time thus far, I made my way inland to Yosemite national park and, to what I consider to be one of the highlights. I camped out in this amazing place for two nights down on the valley floor in the busy campgrounds, using the days to walk around groves of more giant trees. Although I saw no more Mountain Lions, I did see plenty of Deer and even a Coyote. This is the view from one end of the valley - pretty spectacular I'm sure you'll agree.

However,  for my last night I decided to make my way to the visitors office to get a wilderness permit and a bear cannister (massive black box to put food in so the bears don't attack you) and packed up my rucksack.

I then embarked upon a 5 hour trek out of the valley into the wilderness with my tent and spent the night at a place called Eagle peak. This was one of the best things I have ever done and here are some of the views I had from my makeshift campsite. From here I made myself a brew and some soup and watched the sun set over the valley - all this with not a human for literally miles.

Anyway, with Yosemite behind me I began to bring my trip to a close with a spectacular drive down highway 1 over a couple of nights, stopping off at some lovely beaches and ended up in LA where I once again met up with my mate Dave. Once again my friend, thanks for putting me up. From there we hit Vegas. Amongst the highlights were seeing Calvin Harris playing a DJ set from our sun loungers complete with ice buckets of beer, and being accosted by two women late at night in the MGM grand lobby who genuinely thought that Dave and I were rock stars.

So, all trips have to come to an end, and this one was no different. I drove around 2,189 miles. I met some quality people along the way. I did some cool things and saw some amazing spectacles. And I am pretty sure I left half of the insect population of the western United States on the windscreen of my rental car. Since I have been back, I've had to regroup and wash lots of clothes but I am now back on it. As such, my next weekly task shall be to learn how to wolf whistle  (something I have always wanted to do). In addition, I shall add in the task of learning how to clean and cook a fish from scratch.

W

P.s.

One last thing. Just this weekend gone, I watched one of, if not the best football matchs of my life and if you haven't seen the videos yet then please watch them. I don't normally mention Watford on here as I am aware many will not have a clue what I am talking about and will inevitably get bored but this is an exception. Quite simply incredible.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nAwOXGIrVQ

Mountain Lions

I began this week where I finished the last, unsurprisingly in Seattle, where apparently Ronnie Corbitt has taken up driving taxis. Nice city, although I stayed in a fairly sketchy area around China town. I managed to cover just about the whole city in one morning after my phone completely died via the city’s underground buses to buy a new cheap US phone. This still all gave me time to head up the space needle where I chilled out to some pretty awesome views. 

From there I picked up my rental car. A brand spanking new Ford Focus which drives like a dream. From Seattle I headed for the cost and ended up in a lovely little place called Cannon Beach which I’m told is where they filmed the Goonies. Here was the view I was met with.

The beach was so nice and the sand so good that I felt guilty walking on it with my shoes on. Definitely a place to visit again if I get the chance. So time for my first stop off and I was lucky enough to have someone willing to put me up in Portland. Bit of legend called Joey Colando, so once again, cheers dude. 

After picking up the worst chickpea and tuna wrap ever at a cafe the next morning (the only chickpea tuna wrap I have ever and will ever have) I hit some waterfalls along the Columbia River gorge. Apart from being a lovely day, it was also amazing to see. I then carried on a scenic drive into the mountains and out of nowhere got myself involved in a massive blizzard which provided me with some scary moments driving as I was on the edge of a cliff. Thankfully unscathed, I joined the highway south and embarked upon one of the nicest drives I’ve ever had to the soundtrack of what I think was the perfect shuffle selection I’ve ever experienced on my ipod – this  definitely involved AC DC.This was all despite the town of Boring.

After this I recouped at a motel and started out along highway 199, which is the best road I’ve driven along so far. It took me through forest and canyons and threw me out of Oregon into California and the first of many groves of giant Redwood trees. These are something you have to see to believe. Enormous, up to 2,500 years old and 300 foot high. I camped out in this setting and it was awesome.Here is the morning view at the campsite.

The next day I drove down the cost and saw more massive trees, stopping off halfway to hike into one of the forests. The geeks among you may or may not know that this is the area where they filmed Return of the Jedi. The place did indeed look like the forest moon of Endor. 

Anyway, here’s my big moment. After hiking for an hour without seeing anyone at all I turned back satisfied towards the road and the car. Shortly after this I spotted movement on the pathway not 10 yards ahead of me. At first I thought it was someone’s dog. An unusually massive dog. As it turned in front of me and jumped into the bush by the path I saw its massive tail and realised it was in fact a Mountain Lion, or Cougar. I froze and realised that to get out of there I would have to pass the path where seconds ago had been a large carnivorous predator. Thankfully I wasted no time and as I made my way back to the car, now less than relaxed. I zipped up the collar of my jumper around my neck which is the site where I’m told they like to go for first. That night I camped out in another redwood grove, campfire blazing, warm cup of tea and soup, the dangers of the Mountain Lion all forgotten.

From here, and following a brief petrol scare, I moved onto San Francisco and met up with some more friends who helped me out with accommodation. Thanks once again to Liz and Cory! They really sorted me out. San Fran. What can I say, great city and Alcatraz well worth a visit. Then who should turn up by complete unbelievable coincidence on a work training week, but my good friend Craig and his work colleagues. Very random.  As such, suitable celebrations at the bar on top of the Marriot hotel were in order complete with the following view before catching some food with some live jazz.

Great week, great people and great times. Next week... Yosemite, highway 1, La and Vegas.